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Potential Energy of Kids

January 7, 2012

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This is a list of the factors (in my experience) of what winds kids up, or calms them down. Enjoy!

The Equation

Ep = SLICKFEW

Variables

These are the main variables affecting a childs energy level. As you can see, they are quite complex with many interacting variables.

1. Sugar

Sugars in all forms (glucose, fructose, etc) have an unproportionally large effect on children, well in excess of what is expected.

More sugar = more energy
    - This is to be expected, if not the relative scales involved.
Longer time since sugar = less energy
    - This is also expected, but is not nessessarily a linear equation, possibly sinusoidal.
More energy as a next sugar is expected
    - Once again, this is not expected, but energy levels clearly peak just before consumption.
    - Again, ignorance of approaching refuelings negates this phenomenon.

S = Sn / ( St + Sx )

2. Light

On top of producing and using energy from fuels, sound, and radiated waste energy, children are able to convert light into energy.

More light = more energy
    - There is a recorded anomally when an instant lack of all light causes a large brief temporary spike in energy levels. This may just be a side effect of Et (time since last environmental change).
Bright light outside = more energy
More light outside than inside = more energy

L = L∆ + Lo + Li

3. Inactivity

Children posses some very unique characteristics when it comes to inactivity/rest vs time.

More rest = more energy
    - This is to be expected and is not of much concern.
Longer time since rest = less energy
    - This is also expected.
More energy as a rest period approaches
    - This is not expected, one would expect a continuation of the trend stated above.
   Observations of this unique phenomenon also seems to indicate a violation of the second law of thermo dynamics (energy can not be created or destroyed)
    - Also of note is how ignorance of approaching recharge periods negates this phenomenon.

I = In / ( It + Ix )

4. Temperature

Temperature has an unusual effect in that the zero to 15 degree area actually depresses engery levels causeing a double curve in results.

Temperature above 15C = more energy
Temperature below 0C = more energy
    - There seems to be no lower limit, possibly due to being kept inside as the temperature keeps dropping.
Greater difference between inside and outside temperatures = more engery
    - This is a situational effect and only seems to work if the children are inside.

C = ( |Cb| + Ca ) * C∆

5. Other Children

Children are remarkable in the fact that they can operate on the waste energy radiating from other children.

More children = more energy
    - This could be considered unusual except that it is a well know anecdotal fact by almost every adult.
More noise = more energy
    - Children convert noise and other sounds into useable enrgy seemlessly.
Close proximity of other children = more energy
    - This may not in fact be more energy so much as a more effecient transfer between children.
Average age of children is close to 8 = more energy
    - This is the most complicated effect. The average age of children placed on a bell curve with a mean value of 8.
    - Under 8 starts tapering off, we believe it is due to a smaller generator mass and therefore overall lower maximum output.
    - Over 8 also starts tapering off, we believe it is due to a the inertia of a larger generating mass. The endurance of older children is much greater however, again suspected to be linked with the inertia of the system.

K = Ka * ( Kn + Kv ) / Kd

6. Food

Much like sugar, but with a lesser maximum peak balanced by a longer period of effect.

More food = more energy
Longer time since food = less energy
More energy as a next meal is expected
    - Once again, this is not expected, but energy levels clearly peak just before consumption.
    - As usual, ignorance of approaching refuelings negates this phenomenon.

F = Fn / ( Ft + Fx )

7. Environment

Environmental effects are very hard to qualify and are a lot more random in occurance.

More noise = more energy
Newer = more energy
    - Brand new object and distractions always create more energy, at least for a while.
more time since last variable change = less energy
    - Change increases energy, lack of it will cause entrophy.
Other un-mentioned, un-forseen, or completely random affects
    - The un-quantifiable factors, one-offs, and intangables like blue moons, fire drills, or squirrels.

E = ( Ev / ( Ea + Et) ) + Em

8. Water

Water in small amounts merely sustaines energy, while in excess quantities it becomes a catalyst for explosive amounts of energy.

Less distance to water = more energy
    - Maximum energy peaks with total immersion.
    - The size of body does not matter, lakes and puddles elicit similar levels.
    - Rain or snow seems to have the same effect as water bodies.
Longer time since water = less energy
    - A lack of water creates a false seeming of energy. In reality it's just grouchiness.

W = Wd / Wt