I went to the creationist museum yesterday with Jen and Ed. It's in Big Valley. It was quite professional (but not "very professional") as it's not so much a creationist museum as "the flaws in evolution" museum. Only the dinosaurs display was truely focused on creationism, and that was really well done from the perspective of proving creation's case.

The curator (or whatever his roll was) who works there did just as much if not more to demonstrate that this may be a valid place, not some loopy thing. He was polite, cheerful, warm, and friendly. He gave a quick overview of the museum, discussed his favorite books, and had a quiet sense of understated humour. Kudos to him, I hope he gets a raise.

Heather (or any other bioligist/geneticist) needs to check out the DNA display and comment. Someone geology based needs to look at the geology section and rip it apart. The part that caught me was the great flood section, mostly because of the sheer amount of hokey math that went into the justification of Noah's Ark. So here I go debunking or maybe proving what they said. (I'm writing this as I do the math, so I don't know what I'll get)

Bill Cosby's Take

Highly amusing, I recommend listening to: Bill Cosby's Noah

NOAH: What you want? I've been good.
GOD: I want you to build an Ark
NOAH: Riiiight! Whats an Ark?
GOD: Get some wood build it 300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits
NOAH: Riiiight! Whats a cubit?
GOD: Lets see a cubit...I used to know what a cubit was
Pause.
GOD: Well don't worry about that Noah

The Ark

The ark was 300 cubits long by 50 cubits wide by 30 cubits high and divided into 3 levels. Now a cubit is generally now accepted as 18 inches. But it has varied up to as long as 22 inches. So we will use it as a "worst" case scenario. Yes I am biased against it, so to compensate, I'm trying to be generous to the other side.

• Length: 300c  x 22 inches  =  6600 inches  =  550 feet  =  167.6403m
• Width: 50c  x 22 inches  =  1100 inches  =  91 feet 8 inches  =  27.9401m
• Height: 30c  x 22 inches  =  660 inches  =  55 feet  =  16.7640m

That info is all indisputable. If you disagree, your a lunatic or on crack...hmmm, actually prolly on LSD. Anyways, let us continue.

• Area (per level): length x width  =  167.6403m x 27.9401m  =  4683.8803m²
• Total Floor Space: Area x 3  =  4683.8803m² x 3  =  14051.6410m²

• Volume: area x height  =  4683.8803m² x 16.7640m  =  78520.7270m³

Still indisputable. Now we take the first step into the unknown. Lets assume the top level is actually the top deck and has no roof. Thus we will have an extra 50% height (step #2; I am assuming that he didn't pile anything higher than 8.4m (27.56ft) high on the top deck).

• Total Volume: Volume x 150%  =  8520.7270m³ x 150%  =  117781.0905m³

117781.0905m³ is a freaking huge number...What's it in understandable terms? Well take a peek at this list:

• Olympic swimming pool: 2500m³
• (North American) High School Gym: 73150m³

So our ark is about 1.5 to 1.6 times the size of your high schools gymnasium. Or picture it as your gym with a full load of animals standing on the roof. Pretty freaking big eh?

The Animals

So lets move on for a moment and consider the animals onboard. First of all, God called them, so Noah didn't have to chase them.

Now then there are somewhere between 3 and 30 million species of animals on our planet. But Noah doesn't need to save fish, or whales, or crabs...No unicorns either :(. Apparently even though evolution doesn't exist he only needs a pair of dogs because all other canines can be bred from them. I imagine that also applies to cats, cows, etc.

Step #3 is taking their (creationists) numbers that Noah only has to deal with 8000 to 18000 species, or 16000 to 36000 animals.

Leap of faith/logic #4 is that if you take all the different animals and average their size you end up with something the size of an adult sheep (is a single sheep called a ship? or a shep?).

Step #5 (we are moving quickly now) is that if they are the size of a sheep, their dietary requirements also average similar. So we need to feed 16,000 sheep for a year. How much is that?

• 150 to 300 gallons of water a year per sheep.
• 300lbs of grain a year per sheep.
• 3 tons of hay a year per sheep.

Yes I realize I'm also making a leap of faith (#6) by not quoting my sources, but blah, I'm not writing a wiki, just a nitpick. Anyways, lets look at the volumes associated with the above numbers.

• 150 gallons of water  =  0.5678m³
• 300lbs of grain:  48.18lbs/ft²  =  6.2267ft²  =  0.1763m³  (http://www.grainweightconversion.com/)
• weight of hay:  1500lbs/large round bale  =  3.14159 x r² x h  =  3.14159 x 3² x 6;  =  1500lbs/169.6460ft³  =  1500lbs/4.8038m³   (How much does a bale of hay weigh?)
• 3 tons of hay  =  6000lbs / (1500lbs/4.8038m³)  =  19.2152m³

• Total food amount for 1 sheep  =  0.5678m³ + 0.1763m³ + 19.2152m³  =  19.9593m³
• Total food amount for 16,000 sheep  =  19.9593m³ x 16,000  =  319348.8m³

Leap #7 is that the animals are all young adults, so smaller and eat less (Ha! Show me a teenager that eats less than an adult). But for arguments sake let's knock a third off.

• Total food amount for 16,000 sheep  =  1319348.8m³ x 2/3  =  212899.1998m³

The Interlude of Rationality

Alright, so where do we stand?

• The ark has a volume of 117781.0905m³.
• The ark only has to hold 16,000 sheep.
• The animals are all young adults, thus requiring 2/3 of the food of an adult.
• 16,000 sheep require 212899.1998m³ of food in a year.

Uh-oh...212899.1998m³ is quite a bit bigger than 117781.0905m³...Not quite double, but at 181% we are definitely over full. Not to mention we still need to fit the animals themselves on board.

Back to the Grindstone.

Well let's answer the first unknown...how big is an adult sheep?

• 99 to 350lbs   (Wikipedia: Sheep)

Alright, so we will play small and say 99lbs. The size of a large dog. Now I can't find a volume, but lets say 3 feet high by 4 long by 2 wide. Our sheep don't move for a year to save room.

• Volume of a sheep:  3 x 4 x 2  =  24 ft³  =  0.6796m³
• Volume of 16,000 sheep:  0.6796m³ x 16000  =  24 ft³  =  10873.6m³

Ah crap. Another 10,000 cubic meters? So 212899.1998m³ + 10873.6m³ = 223772.7998m³. Now we are at 190% of the ark.

Conclusion

The ark is possible, with room to spare. He could have built it a lot smaller too.

WAIT! WAIT! I say what?

Sorry, I forgot the final fact (#8). ALL animals go into a state of hibernation when they are put into a stressful environment and require a fraction of the food of a non-stressed animal, didn't you know that?? (heavy sarcasm) So a fraction (less than a quarter from what I can understand) of 223772.7998m³ is:

• 223772.7998m³ x 1/5 = 44754.5600m³ or a mere 38.00%

*more sarcasm* See, it all is good. I totally proved the ark is possible even if you add in structure, hallways, furniture, a way to clean up the waste, etc.

Thank you for your time. Tomorrow's lesson, how natural selection and adaptaion are not evolutionary processes.*/sarcasm*