Boredom is a dangerous thing. Protracted boredom (the type that comes with breaking bones) is even worse. So in a toast to Monty Python, I have written up the instructions for donning an ankle cast.

Donning thy Holy Cast of the Crags

Then did he raise on high the Holy Cast of the Crags, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst convey your most humbled of servants from this venue of suffering, to an abode of healing, in thy infinite mercy."

And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ...

Now did the Lord say, "First thou shalt place thine foot in My Cast. Thou must then tighten the straps of restraint from top to bottom. The top shall be the foremost for tightening and the foremost for tightening shall be the top."

"The middle thou shalt not tighten, excepting it is done afore the bottom and late of the top. The bottom strap musth be the penultimate of the straps."

"There is no fourth, don't even look. Once the third, being the conclusive strap of restraint, has be tightened, then inflateth evenly (sinister and dexiter) the Holy Cast of Crags thou will."

"Ultimately thou shalt gather thine adherents and evacuate this domicile of shame. Do not envisage keeping the Holy Cast of Crags, for you shall become naughty in my sight."

Book of Deck 4: 6-16