This is a collection of short explanations for the world. Things that don't offer enough to write a whole blog about. One liners, blurbs, etc. I've tried to give credit where it it due.
Wood Lice
Wood lice lay their eggs in wood (duh), so when you are cutting the wood and spraying sawdust everywhere you are spreading the eggs. Which means that you can get them in your hair. And no-one likes lice in their hair.
-Me
Moose 1
What is the plural of moose? Not mice, not mooses, not moosi (from hippopotami?), but meece. Mouse -> Mice, Hippopotamus -> Hippopotomi, Moose -> Meece
-Dad
Moose 2
Mosse have large antlers right? And live in the forest right (answer to both is yes btw), but you never see deer trails with enough headspace for the moose antlers. So how do they do it. Well it's quite brilliant really, moose antlers are like peacock tails, they fold out for display and fold up nice and tight for travel.
-Rachel
Igneous Rocks
How do you tell if you're in an area with igneous rocks? Simple really. Since igneous rocks come from volcanos, if you pick one up in your hands, you'll feel the heat radiating out from the heart of the stone after a few moments. Pass it to a friend, they will feel it too.
-Marta
Menstration
Animals are not attracted to women during their periods. This is a idiotic victorian thought, really really stupid, right up there with lions and eagles being the most noble and greatest of hunters (they are scavengers more often than not btw). What they are attracted to however is your perfume, guys don't use perfume and animals are not attracted. Vaniila and Lavender and who knows what other smells you drizzle all over your body smell like food, in the case of vanilla or 'summer meadow', really good food. So are you surprised that a bear wants to eat you??
-Me (Apologies, this one is true)
Banff 1
Banff is pronounced either Ban-fffffff (lean heavely on the 'f'), or less popularly Ban-ifffff
-?
Banff 2
Egypt and Scarab lakes are not like Egypt. However, they are an oddity due to the sand dunes (grassy), and much warmer than average temperatures. So more like Egypt dropped in the rockies.
-Me
Wildlife 1
A grown bear can peel off the door of your car like a fruit cup...oh wait, this is also true, sorry, my bad.
-Me
Wildlife 2 (or is it Moose 3?)
If you are in a small car and are about to hit a moose on the highway, accelerate. Your car will pass under the falling body saving you from a write-off.